Just do It

If I had to describe unrequited love using analogies, I would describe it as the sensation one gets when one attempts to have a shower in boiling hot water. It's painful and it leaves horrible scars. And don't - not for one second - act like you have never experienced it before. You have. If you want to deny having ever felt it, then fuck off this isn't for you. 

When something or someone catches our attention we consciously make a choice to give in to that curiosity. Following that, we allow (consciously, again) ourselves to fall in love with them. Sure, convince yourself all you like that it was fate, that it was your destiny to fall in love with him or her, bla, bla, bla and "dayummm dat fine ass". 

Truth is, you chose to fall in love. 

Now that you're in love - irrespective of whether or not that person feels the same way - you make the conscious decision to accept this person unconditionally. That's when you truly, possibly madly and very deeply love somebody. Rose coloured glasses are off now. You accept them for who they are, with all their stinking flaws and you listen to songs like John Legend's "All of me" thinking that it was written just for the two of you. 

Then, along with the deep love you are feeling comes the extremely painful, soul-destroying knowledge that he or she doesn't feel the same way, or even worse, does love you too but not as deeply. You are not on the same page, not on the same boat and most definitely not heading down a path hand in hand. It is heart breaking. There is no  way anyone can deny that it is heart breaking. It is even more heartbreaking when horrible people like me say, "Hey asshole, it's your fault. You chose to fall in love with him/her!"  

Suddenly you're listening to sad songs while wishing, willing, hoping and silently begging them to love you back, to feel what you're feeling. You pray that they are enveloped in the same flame of passion, you long for them to feel those butterflies in their tummies too, you desire them. You want their love and you are, again, consciously aware that you are not receiving it. 

What? How is it possible that we chose to fall in love and now we can't "un-choose"? Does this give us grounds to disprove the theory that "loving someone is a choice"? No, it doesn't. You can choose. The choice is always yours. If that love isn't returned after we have attempted to share it, then perhaps we should make a conscious decision to stop loving that person. If you have tried and they don't return that love, then they haven't chosen you! 

Everything is a choice. You choose what you say, you choose how you feel and you choose who you love and who you don't. You get to choose. Make that choice. If you choose to stay in love with someone who doesn't feel the same way then you have chosen to feel miserable (or happy to have unrequited love for someone, since emotions are your choice too). It is painful, exhausting and worst of all, misery is fruitless, pointless and almost always detrimental. 

Jump out of the boiling hot water. Make a choice today. I can't say if I am telling you this or myself. All  I am saying is, make a choice. Whether it is to get out of a dead-end relationship because your feelings aren't being returned or tell the woman you love that you're madly in love with her (damn the madafakin' consequences!), make a choice. Nike isn't wrong when it tells you to "just do it". JUST DO IT. 

You're not the boss at work, you're not the boss at home, you're not the boss bloody anywhere of bloody anything. But you are the boss of you. You tell yourself what to do. Be the boss. You're in control. You make the decisions and the choices. Just do it. Do something that sets you free. Tell someone you love them, or better yet, if you're the one who just doesn't feel the same way - tell the one who is in love with you. Choose to love or not to. Make a choice. Stop saying nothing is under your control. Stop saying you have no choices. Go on. The choice is yours.

... Or you could choose to stop reading. Now that you're done reading the my entire spiel.